Poetry: The Fear is Back

Transy sophomore and Rambler Copyeditor Isaac Batts

The fear that lived in my stomach
Before I came out is back again.

This time it’s in my heart.
It isn’t a black hole anymore,
This fear is orange.

The fear that no one will
accept me for who I am,
The fear that someone
on the streets will see me,

Hate me for my buttons,
My presentation,

The fear I won’t make it home,
Is back again.

For a while, I could breathe,
exist in this world.

Now I am too scared
To say pronouns out loud.

Again my fear caught up to me
yet again I am hiding
in bathrooms.

This time,

I am hiding from the bathrooms.
Now, I don’t go to the bathroom
in public anymore.

I don’t use the men’s room
Or the women’s room,
I was never comfortable in either,
always worried someone would sense
I didn’t quite fit there,

That someone would try to
Force me out because of it.

-Isaac Batts (they/them)